


Unhealthy

by S3ttle



Category: Naruto
Genre: Accusations of Cheating, Break Up, Controlling/Possessive Relationship, Crime, Death, F/M, Flirty Diedara, Fucked Up Love, Jealousy, Makeup, Neediness, Possible Rape Scene, Sacrifices, Satanic (Jashinism) Rituals, Sexual Content, Slight Itachi/Reader Sexual Tension, Swearing, Unhealthily Relationship, Violence, Yanderish Relashionship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-15 00:45:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10547150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S3ttle/pseuds/S3ttle
Summary: He wasn't any good for you. That, you had long since come to terms with. You lost yourself to him; his whims, his wants, his needs. There wasn't a single thing you wouldn't do for him-it was pathetic, but it was your reality. It was plain to see that you were a slave to him, but what they couldn't see was that he needed you too.You were entirely too good for him. He had long since accepted that. He was a rotten, selfish, person. But he needed you. As pathetic as it was, he allowed you to stay by his side, to continue to damage you and hurt you with woeful abandon, all because he couldn't quit you.He was terrified to lose you-although he already knew you would never leave.





	1. Return

Thick, dark, lashes lifted over sleep riddled eyes, the owner attempting to survey their surroundings. A noise-three sharp raps against wood-had disturbed you from the deep depths of slumber, only for you to lay there motionless, willing them to go away with nothing but the power of your sorrow filled mind. Staring at the wall parallel to the bed, you listened absentmindedly, gaze slowly shifting to the beautiful assortment of roses that decorated the chestnut vanity. Even in the barely lit room, you could still see the stunning beauty that occupied the four, vintage vases, recalling the exact instance when each one had arrived. The dying, white roses, had arrived first. Beautifully delicate petals, once smooth and soft, had now shriveled up- a horrid brown colour creeping up from the edges to claim its youth. They had made its appearance on your doorstep approximately five weeks ago, about a week and a half after he had left you. Two weeks later, the second bouquet of lavender roses made their presence, then the red, and lastly, the deep, burgundy, had arrived this morning while you were out grocery shopping.

You knew exactly who your late-night visitor was, whom was now ringing your doorbell in a frenzy, quick and insistent. Still, you did nothing to change that, closing your eyes once more. To your annoyance, the ringing grew increasingly louder, until finally, an incredibly loud bang scared you straight out of bed.

“What the fu-”

You exclaimed in shock, flying out of the covers and collapsing on the floorboards-clutching your chest cavity in freight. Hearing cursing from your living room, you mustered up the strength to stand on shaky legs, not knowing if you were more startled by the sudden intrusion, or angered by the high probability that he had broken your front door.

Making your way from the bedroom, you weren't the least bit surprised to see your ex-boyfriend standing in your home, holding the corpse of the very friendly man from this morning. Who had been nice enough to assist you in carrying your many groceries bags back to your isolated, yet cozy, home.

“Who the fuck is _this_ cunt!?” The large male screeched, forcefully thrusting his poor cadaver up to your face, soiling the once quiet and peaceful atmosphere of your household.

“Shh, Hidan.” You rubbed your temples, not at all in the mood to listen to his petty shouting of unwarranted jealousy. Once you had caught sight of the bouquet of roses, you knew that Hidan was watching from somewhere in the forest. Quietly seething as you advanced with a chatty, and if you may, quite handsome male. You _would_ have shooed him off, but you knew his fate was pretty much sealed already. So, you made the informed decision to allow him to finish the trip, placing the bags by the door before thanking him. Apparently, your deduction was correct, secretly hoping, even though you knew better, that he had a quick and painless death.

“I leave for what? Less than a fucking month! And you're already all over another-” he punted the body across the room, cracking your wall slightly. “Fucking cock sucking-” he stomped on the body repeatedly, what little blood left inside the cadaver splattering on your floors. Sighing, you sat on the counter of your island, waiting for the enraged black and white body of your lover-ex-lover- to be through with massacring the poor man. You played with the thought of mentioning that it had actually been _over_ a month, but you knew the smart comment would just make things worse.

“Who the fucking hell is he?” In a flash, Hidan’s handsomely furious face was millimeters away from your own, forcefully pronouncing each syllable with hate.

“I don't know,” you dismissed, “I think his name was Ryuk?”

You watched in stifled amusement as this set him off again, a slew of curse words leaving his lips as he stomped around your home, childishly kicking your furniture in midst his tantrum. It was times like these that you really appreciated your past self's ingenious decision to move into the serene little home on the outskirts of town, surrounded by nothing but trees for at least six miles. It had proven even more convenient when your complicated love interest-whom you had come to discover had left you to join a dangerous, underground, criminal organization of S-class ninja-would stupidly decide to risk being captured _and_ incriminating you, just to deliver flowers. If it was any other situation you would have found the gesture sweet and poetic, but under the circumstance of his departure you found it nothing but annoying and confusing. He had made it clear that he would not return to you, and that it was, in his words, _a waste of fucking time_ , to continue see one another. Only to continuously pop up on you, randomly, and completely unannounced. You could always sense his chakra around your home, but this was the first time he had actually confronted you, and if that wasn't enough, with a _dead_ man, to accuse you of what? cheating on him?

How it was possible for this man to confront you about another male, when it was he who left you, was something you would never grow to understand.

“Listen, Hidan, it's late, and I'm tired.” You attempted to reason with him, “If you're going to waste my time talking about a man I never knew existed until today-”

“Did you let him in?”

“What?” You asked, puzzled.

“Did you let him the fuck into our home?” He was shaking slightly, trying his hardest to contain himself long enough to hear your answer.

“ _Our_ home?” You, snorted, hopping off the marble counter, walking past him to examine your front door. Sucking your teeth once you realized he had broken it clean off the frame. “I thought you didn't want to play house anymore.”

Bending down to lift the door, you attempted to lean it against the frame, stifling your surprise when two strong black and white arms shot past you; forcefully pressing into the wood, cracking it slightly. Turning around with a speed you didn't quite know you possessed, you came face to face with the enraged pink eyes you were so accustomed to. His chest was heaving, back and shoulder muscles contracting along with the action. A feeling of annoyance shot up you, how was it that he could ever be this upset with you, after all the fucked up things he put you through? If anyone should be screaming and shaking with anger, it should be you.

“ _ **You**_ left _**me**_ , Hidan. That's it. You made your decision. There's no instance where you have the right to return and bitch about anything I choose to do with my life. There's no keeping an eye on me, and there's _no_ -” you stopped for dramatic effect, pointing behind his towering frame, “killing innocent men just because they talk to me. You're not entitled to my decisions, nor are you allowed to have an opinion on them."

He just watched you, leaning closer and closer to your face as you spoke. Sometime during your rant you had lost him, only realizing by the end when you looked away from the man laying in your living room to witness the bipolar male watching your lips as you brought each syllable to life.

“I didn't leave you.” His voice was quieter now, slouching slightly, curving his back so his shoulders would round over you. “I just needed to get some shit in order.”

“No. I'm pretty sure you broke up with me.”

“How the fuck did I break up with you?”

“Let's see-” you held up your palm, ticking off each point with your fingers. “you said you were tired of being here with me, you wanted to start a new life, that you didn't want to live here with me anymore and _play house_ ,” you spat and he rolled his eyes- noting that you were particularly annoyed by that comment. “and last but not least, you told me you'd never come back.”

“Obviously, I'd come back dipshit.”

“How the fuck is that so obvious! You joined the Akatsuki! I thought your reckless self would have died already.” You pushed him off you, feeling a slight prick to your eyes.

“Hey-” he grabbed your fleeing from, lifting you up by your waist. You attempted to kick his shin, but stopped once you remembered just who _exactly_ you were dealing with. It wouldn't really do any damage, if anything, the freak would love it. That didn't stop you from digging your nails into his forearms though, feeling the vibrations of his groan against your back as he took a seat on the sofa, placing you on his lap.

“Did you get my flowers?” He whispered into your hair, only making you want to cry more. You didn't want to admit it, but you had broken down every time you had opened your front door to see and the bouquet of roses. But only after you had barricaded yourself in the bathroom, away from the potential of prying eyes.

“I threw them out.”

He sighed, scooping your legs up to hold you bridal style, face inches from yours. Averting your glossy gaze, you instead watched his flesh slowly lose the black pigmentation, his beautiful olive skin returning.

“Listen, I know you don't give a shit about what I have to say, but I still love you, and I was being a fucking idiot for thinking I could ever leave you the fuck alone.” He rested his chin on your shoulder, inhaling the scent of your body wash. “So, if you'll let me, I wanna make it up to you.”

A snort left your lips, followed by a dry, humourless, laugh that escaped your tightening throat. “Yeah, _ok_.” came your sarcastic reply, secretly hoping he wouldn't hear the slight croak to your throat.

“I’m serious.” He pressed, his lips brushing against the skin of your cheek. The nostalgic prick of his stubble sent your mind racing; shifting your face away from his uncomfortably. “Don't be like that.” His arms squeezed your waist affectionately, only making you want to cry even more.

“I can't do this with you anymore.” Your voice came out hushed. Foreign. _Broken_. A thick silence overtook the two of you. By this point, he was well aware of your emotions, tears finally breaking free from their confinements. You two had been through so much, and it always seemed like you were the one sacrificing for the sake of the relationship, never the other way around. Hidan’s odd religious practices were well known by the villagers, and although Hidan was indifferent to being excommunicated, you were not. Unlike him, you had a family, dear friends, and a strong connection with your sensei- but you had forfeited it all just to be by his side. Your choice had caused you to be guilty by association, and everyone deserted you for it. Hidan was forbidden from entering the village, but you were not, so you were tasked with the burden of entering when rations ran low.

At first, no one dared to bother you, only an assortment of hushed whispers and dirty looks were the extent of your troubles. But as Hidan started experimenting with sacrificial rituals, the hate grew, and so did their courage. You were faced with family members of the missing citizens, and although they had no substantial proof that he was behind the disappearances, you were still used as a universal scapegoat, continuously beaten, berated, and bruised.

Not once had you told Hidan, God knows what would have happened if you had told him. With your medical training, you were able to heal yourself before coming back home, but you knew he had his suspicions. You often wondered if Hidan knew, although he never asked. Only offering comfort and silent solace when he often found you curled up in a sobbing mess. You had given up everything in this world just to be with him, and he had the audacity to leave you after successfully tearing up your life.

That was why today had been so special. Ryuk was the first person to have spoken to you since your painful isolation started, and the first person other than Hidan in five years. He had defended you when the villagers had thrown rocks, the news of Hidan's dealings with the Akatsuki having finally spread throughout the nation. But he didn't judge you, instead, he gave you silent hope that maybe, just maybe, you could one day return to a life of semi normalcy. You found it foolish now, eyes locked on the supposed hope, his mangled body sprawled on your floor.

“Hidan,” you choked out, crying even harder, your eyes locked on the hollow, soulless orbs of your saviour. The silver haired male begun lightly lathering your neck and cheek with soothing kisses, sensing your growing panic. “I gave up everything for you..” You breathed out in horror, “He-I, I-” you began to grow louder, hiccupping through the tears; breathing picking up to the point where he thought you'd pass out from hysteria. “I have nothing! Nothing!”

“Shhh, [N/n]-” he squeezed your squirming form, your tiny fists pounding his arms.

“Don't call me that! I-I only had you! My family, my friends! My entire. Fucking. Village. Abandoned me! And you, you left me.” The last sentence was eerily quiet, eyes bulging out as you turned in his arms to face him. The extent of your situation finally hitting you- fists beating on his chest in agony, repeating the words, louder and louder, as you thrashed violently in his hold. “You left me! **_You left me_**!”

“[F/n], I’m sorry-”

“LET GO OF ME!”

“[F/n]! Listen!” He reasoned, trying his hardest to contain you. You could feel the gaze of the unoccupied body boring into your back, the need to run away suffocating you, air thick with guilt.

“ _ **No**_ -” He silence you with his lips, firmly holding your face still with both hands. You tried to protest, crying harder as he pressed deeper, bruising the soft skin of your lips. After a moment of pressed faces, he started moving softly, as if he was afraid to set you off again. Squeezing your eyes shut, you begun to wound his newly adorned cloak within your knuckles, attempting to rip the putrid fabric to shreds. [L/s] lips began to move against his, but in no way as gentle as him. An insistent, strong urge to harm him pushed itself to the forefront of your distressed mind. You wanted to hurt him, make him feel pain, make his heart twist and break with the agony, the tragedy, that was your awry love. Make him feel the burden that plagued your being. Slowly, the opening to your mouth lifted, waiting for him to slide his tongue past yours, rubbing the appendage gently before biting down as hard as you could.

“Son of a-” The swear came out odd, jerking back to cradle his chin. Spitting out a mouthful of blood into his hand, he continued to curse in disbelief, barely noting when you calmly stood, finally getting a grip on your emotions. Grabbing a box of tissues from the coffee table, you threw it on his lap and turned to leave.

“I’m going to bed.”


	2. Acceptance

Once again, you found yourself staring at the desolate wall of your bedroom; trying desperately to ignore the pain filled grumbles coming from the living room. Closing your eyes in an attempt to forget, your ears picked up the sound of running water-the burn of fresh tears pricking at the back of your optic nerves. Your legs twitched, muscles fighting the urge to run to him and apologize profusely. Instead, in a useless effort, you attempted to remind yourself just why exactly you had done it in the first place.

 

 _He deserved it_ , you reasoned.

 

So why did your heart feel so heavy?

 

Sighing, you relinquished any foolish thoughts of sleep and stepped out of your bedroom once more. This time, when you entered the living area, the quaint room no longer held its peace, the air seemingly thicker within the little brick house. You were moving, feet on autopilot, the extremities advancing on its own accord. Pads of your feet skillfully navigating the wooden floorboards with a numb mind, void of cohesive thought. You found him inside the bathroom, rinsing his mouth of the liquid copper before childishly grimacing in the mirror. He hadn't seen you yet, standing in the hall as you watched him examine his wound in the mirror. In this moment, he wasn't the dangerous, rogue ninja, that everyone feared. He wasn't a murderer, nor a Satan worshiper, nor did he belong to the Akatsuki.

No matter what approach you took, you were incapable of perceiving the evil they saw. Here, as you observed his blood-soaked appearance, adorned in this new, criminal cloak, all you could see was the strong headed, stubborn, foul mouthed, child who had befriended you. The very same child who had protected you from the bullying of your peers; always looking out for you, shielding you from harm time and time again. Hidan had always continuously reassured you, despite your own thoughts and feelings, that you weren't useless, that you meant something to him and to this world. In fact, Hidan would say it so often, that you had started believing in his kind words, growing confident about your place in the universe. To you, he would always be the bright eyed, dreamer who had given your life meaning. He was your saviour, your fallen angel, and nothing he did would ever change that.

But you heard the whispers. They all thought you were crazy. Once a gifted medical nin with promise; graduating highest in her class, only to throw it all away. You recalled what your sensei had told you, that Hidan would ruin you, taint you, even destroy your life- and he was right. Hidan had corrupted you, but you welcomed it. Dove deeper into the chaos until you couldn't see anything, couldn't breathe anything, couldn’t _feel_ anything that wasn’t him. But you weren't crazy, and in a weird, twisted way, you were happy. He had given your life meaning, protected you, and stuck by your side when no one else would. He believed in you, and now it was your turn to return the favour. You’ll forever stick by his side, long after everyone abandons him. You’ll be the one to protect him, shield him, support his dreams and his ambitions-no matter how unorthodox. And there wasn't a single person living or deceased that could ever make you turn your back on him.

Feeling the warmth of fabric against your face, you vaguely wondered when, in your vacant state of mind, you had entered the snug little bathroom and wrapped your arms around him. Nonetheless, you squeezed tighter, burying you face flush against his back. Listening to the thumping in his chest, the steady beat slowly lulled your exhausted form into a relaxed, sleepy state. He shuffled around, trying his best to finish up without disturbing you, and after a lengthy silence, you attempted to apologize- although Hidan immediately hushed you. He never said a word, instead, he lifted your smaller, [s/c], wrists with a damp hand, detaching himself from your hold as he turned to lift your tired form. You welcomed his familiar scent, lips parting against their will, allowing a broken sob to escape into the air.

You hadn't noticed when he started moving, only when the soft fluff of your comforter met your back, bed dipping down to welcome his added weight. Needy limbs immediately shot out in search of him in the darkness, and he welcomed you into his warm embrace, kissing your forehead tenderly before wiping away your tears.

 

You weren't crazy,

 

 

just in love.

 

 

 


	3. Resolve

Awaking to deep, quiet, mumbles, you welcomed the vibrations of the toned body beside you; soft sonorous reverberating throughout your relaxed body. You didn't need to open your eyes to know he was praying, instead, you fondly listened to the foreign language with interest, snuggling closer to your corrupt companion. You absently wondered what he prayed for. Health? Success? World peace? The thought made you giggle-you knew better, it would be silly for such a crude male to be so harmonious. His wound arm squeezed tighter, responding to the slight shake in your diaphragm-assuring you of a quick completion. His back was slouched against the headrest, whilst his other arm held his silver pendant to rose coloured lips. Hugging back, your mind wondered once more. Maybe he prayed for us? You hoped so. You yourself, had prayed on numerous occasions for the prosperity of your relationship. Mostly the clichés: to get married, own a beautiful country home-maybe even own a dog. Most importantly, you wished to grow old together-although Hidan couldn't grow old. Frowning momentarily, a devilish smile cracked your beautiful face; an ingenious idea creeping its way into your deranged mind. It wouldn't be so bad, you’d get to live your days together, forever as one. You were sure you could get use to the blood and death, especially if it meant you could be with him. 

Unusually engrossed with your thoughts, you hadn't realized when Hidan had finished. The two of you simply laid there in comforting quiescence, nestled away within each corresponding subconscious. There was one, miniscule problem, with your master plan. Heart heavy, lungs inhaling shallow, short breaths; filling with the thick air of tension. It swirled around you, choking your very beginning with the negativity it brought. You so desperately wanted to apologize. The words on the tip of your tongue, ready to burst from its encaged cavern within your throat.

He’d probably be upset if you uttered them-but you didn't care in the slightest. Hidan’s potential annoyance was nothing compared to the guilt-ridden rock nestled in your chest.

“ _Im sorr_ -” 

“I'm sorry.” He beat you to it, and for a moment, you had forgotten why.

Hidan examined your puzzled expression, quickly growing irate at the mistifyied look it displayed. He didn't like the fact that it took you a moment to remember _why_ he was even apologizing- his anger spiking as it dawned on him that you had already exonerated him for his behavior the night before.

“ ** _Are you fucking serious_?** ” He snarled.

Opting to stay muted, you waited for his rant to continue. You knew the fiery male well enough to know he wasn't finished, and if the scrunched-up scowl on his face wasn't enough to warn you of his impending acrimony, then the way he harshly sat up did. His movement threw you from your relaxed position atop him, the shock forcing you to take the topic seriously.

“Why can’t you just call me out for being a piece of shit?” He screamed, face growing red with rage. The odd sentence caused you to blink heavily; vaguely wondering if he was attempting to be humorous.

“You... _want,_ me to call you a piece of shit?” Reaching out to him, you placed a gentle hand on his knee in hopes of sedating your lover.

“Yes!” Smacking away the appendage harshly, the silver haired male continued his verbal assault; paying no mind to the slight yelp you gave, clutching the pulsing limb to your chest. “Last night was the first time you've ever showed any kind of anger about our relationship. I fucking destroyed you, then left you, and _your_ apologizing to _me_?” He steamed, his anger bubbling up, sputtering out from the pout that was his mouth. Standing up abruptly, he ran to your dresser shaking the vintage wood with a might. “Look at this _shit_! You said you threw them out!” He rattled the dresser once more, tumbling the perfectly kempt roses into one another, unable to stop the frown that cracked upon your features as one smash to the ground.

 “You wanna know what the worst part? **You wanna know what the worst fucking part is?!** I fucking _knew_ you were lying! **That's how pathetic you are.** ”

You ignored the jab, rising from the bed in an attempt to preserve the spilt flowers that was now scattered about your bedroom. “So, by me, being thoughtful and understanding, I'm making it worse for you?”

“ **Yes!** ” He barked, grabbing you roughly and pushing you back towards the edge of the bed. He kneeled, his body situated amidst your dangling legs. “Tell me how much you hate me, hit me, scream at me,” he begged, his chin lightly digging into your stomach as he peered up through silver locks. Even in this serious situation, you never failed to marvel at his beautiful. The sad look swimming in his rose colored orbs encasing you in its refinement. “I can't stand looking at your shitty, love sick, eyes.”

Holding his cheeks, you rubbed them gently between your thumbs, the scratch of his stubble bringing back fond memories. He grimaced, pleaded with you once more. Expression breaking with the weight of grief as he witnessed the small shake of your head; followed by a weak, apologetic, smile creeping onto your visage. Defeated, he placed his head on your lap, a low, exasperated, groan escaping his throat.

“You're too good to me.”

Smiling, your gentle [s/c] hands ventured lower on the muscular expanse of olive skin, massaging the taut skin fondly.

Maybe today wasn't the right time to ask.

  
  



End file.
